Discussing funeral plans with friends and family

April 25, 2022

Naturally, it can be difficult and emotional to talk about your own death or that of a loved one. It is a topic most people try to avoid, but you must let people know your wishes regarding your funeral.

It is best to have the conversation sooner rather than later, so your friends and family are not left guessing what you would have wanted when it is too late. It can be hard to make decisions at what will already be a difficult time for your loved ones, but you can alleviate some of the stress by doing this now.

Before initiating the conversation, you first need to consider and decide what you actually want to happen after your passing.

Some of the key questions you need to ask yourself and determine the answers to are:

  • Would you like to be buried or cremated?
  • If you would like to be buried, where would you like to be buried?
  • If cremated, what would you like to happen with your ashes? You could have them scattered somewhere of significance, or kept in an urn.
  • Do you want a religious or non-religious funeral?
  • Would you like anything, in particular, to be mentioned in your eulogy, such as any special memories, stories, achievements, or milestones?
  • What song do you want to be played, what hymns do you want to be sung, and what poems or excerpts to be read at your funeral?
  • Do you want people to wear traditional attire, or would you rather there be an alternative dress code or specific colour scheme?
  • Would you like there to be a gathering or wake after the funeral?

Write your answers down

You may not have strong feelings about some or even all of these aspects – if this is the case, just make sure you make it known that you are happy for the people who will be making the arrangements to do what they feel is right.

Once you know the answers to these questions, you may want to write them down. Having your wishes written down for your loved ones means they will not have to rely on memory when the time comes.

Bring up the conversation

It is unlikely that there will ever be a perfect time to bring this up, but unfortunately, you do not know what is around the corner, so you must have the conversation sooner rather than later.

The topic may naturally come up following the death of someone you know, or if you or someone you know is ill, but otherwise starting the conversation out of seemingly nowhere can be difficult. Try to bring it up in a relaxed setting when everyone is comfortable, such as on a walk or over a cup of tea or coffee, and encourage questions.

Be clear

Make sure you tell people that you can rely on to honour your wishes when the time comes. If you have not already expressed your wishes in your will, you should do this as soon as possible. Otherwise, they are not legally binding.

Remember to review your will regularly and keep it up-to-date, and also to inform loved ones of any changes to your wishes in the future.

We all know that funerals can prove expensive, so removing that added financial pressure from the loved ones you leave behind can be one of the most practical and thoughtful things you can do. After all, it will be one less thing that your family will need to worry about during such an emotional period of their lives.

Get a funeral Plan

You can help to alleviate the financial strain by having a funeral plan, which allows you to pre-arrange the funeral you want and pay for the funeral director’s services at today’s prices. Remember to share the details of your funeral plan with your loved ones.

At Maddock, you can rely on our range of award-winning funeral plans. Please call us on 01925 261803 – we will be happy to chat through everything with you and answer any questions you have. Alternatively, you can click here to enquire about our funeral plans online.